Monday, April 21, 2014

4 Years out of the closet

I Am Gay. And this is where I stay by Elvert Barnes
So this week will mark 4 years since I've come out to my mother. As time has moved on, I haven't really taken the time to appreciate how wonderful it is to be completely unhinged about how my life is going when my mother asks. I really don't stop to let out a grateful sigh when my mother asks me about my love life because I no longer have to beat around the bush about my true feelings. It's comforting that I don't have to hide in the closet as much, and I say that because I still have a ways to go with being open about who I am to the people who matter the most to me. But since the main love my world, my mother, knows my story, I can say that I'm better for it.

I'm not as angry anymore. I'm not as depressed. I don't feel so alone because the woman who brought me into this world, despite a disgusting protest from my biological, knows that I'm gay and loves me no matter what. And this is what I try to tell those who are struggling with coming out to their loved ones. If your friends or family tell you that they love you no matter what, and this is before you can ever fix your lips to tell them your truth, they'll continue to love you no matter what after you come out. Love is strong, and you know when the love is real.

I honestly don't know where I'd be right now if I hadn't come out to my mom that late April night those years ago. It was a month before my graduation, and with all I had been through, I wanted to walk across that stage knowing that I was a freer man. I regret nothing, and I know I'm better for it. And I know that many are not fortunate, but just know that there is always someone in your corner rooting for you.

I know I am.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

So about the porn post . . .

"$1.99 Porn" by Gaby Av
From the previous post, I could've spent paragraphs upon paragraphs breaking everything down about my porn hoarding ways, but I really do like to be succinct with my entries, yet I constantly fail. As mentioned, I think I know why my porn game game is strong. Judging from a good chunk of my posts so far this year, I think you may know why too.

If not, check out posts here and here. Making some sense? No? Well, let me try to explain.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Musings 7 . . . Hoarding (Porn addition)

"Crate of Porn" by Adrian Wallett Hi,

My name is Bama, and I'm a porn hoarder.

It's not something I'm proud to admit, but I heard that admitting your problem is the first step to recovery. So, if ever I blow up and surpass the superstardom of Kirk Franklin, I want you all to hear it here. Bama's got a porn problem! But I figure, it's not like I'm addicted to hardcore party drugs like quaaludes, so. . . can I live?

Here's the thing, porn has played a MAJOR part in my development since I was in middle school, and I blame it all on these little f*ckers here! Those AOL CD ROM free trial disks were made by the devil, and I allowed my soul to be consumed with endless (well, not really endless, it was the early 2000's) picture galleries of naked men with bad haircuts and treasure trails. And don't get me started on when I first saw "moving pictures" of men engaging in butt sex! The RealPlayer never felt more real in my life than it did the day I sat back and watched in amazement this new world sexy entertainment. . . all on dial-up.

I said "moving pictures" like it was the early 1920's. Hell, I might as well have said "tantalizing talkies of the homosexual kind." It's the bee's knees, my nigga!

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Yes, your sexiness does offend me!

I think it's safe to say that at some point in our Internet browsing lives, we've been "that guy" who would get incredibly bothered at the sight of men who constantly showed off their amazingly pumped gym bodies and boasted about how much sex they were getting regularly from random oglers and fuck buddies. Or, am I the only one who got a little irked at dudes who continually flaunted their tight abs, bulging pecs, thick calves, and rotund firm asses? 

We see it all day, every day on any website that allows media uploads, with obnoxious hash-tags to boot. We see the vanity, we see the cockiness, we see the pride, and we see the nudes, accompanied by the thirst buckets.

All I saw was a need for these men to be validated in some way because somewhere deep down, they were lacking some sort of self assurance OR their bodies were the only thing that got them the attention they needed, at the expense of not being taken seriously for anything else. 

We get it, you feel sexy. Congratulations! 
Gym advice, sure, but if you're trying to counsel me on anything that's a bit more meaningful, please fuck off and continue to spread your ass cheeks for the camera, sir. Rude of me to feel that way, but I definitely know I'm not the only one who's had those thoughts. Do we really need to see you show off so damn much? - New domain, new pages, few updates, and much love!

Hey there, friends. I just wanted to fill you in on a few things regarding Bama Boi Blues. The most important update is that I own the domain name, which I'm really happy to announce! This blog is over 3 years old, and although it is not mainstream, I feel that it's enough to make the name official by purchasing the domain. So, you no longer have to type in the full Blogger web address.

I do plan to do more with this blog, and by obtaining the domain name, it gives me motivation to do more. I just want to thank you for being patient with me. Much love to you all! Catch the few updates after the jump!