Slay of the Day: Postmodern Jukebox The Greatest Love of All ft.Mykal Kilgore

Today's Slay of the Day is brought to you by the talented musicians over at Postmodern Jukebox . I discovered this amazing YouTube channel by accident about a week ago, and since then, I've been enjoying the way way PMJ takes modern day songs and slaps them in a different era and genre of music.

Who knew you could make Britney Spears' "Oops!...I Did it Again" sound so vintage - I mean, way beyond the 15 years before the single was released in 2000. That's pure musical awesomeness!

Bama Boi Blues, 5 years later!

It wouldn't be right to allow this month to end without acknowledging that Bama Boi Blues is 5 years old!

It's been a major journey since the first post, hasn't it? Some of you have been following this blog since its inception on July 15th, 2010, and I am nothing but thankful for your support!

This blog has been my therapy and my form of outreach and activism as these years have rolled on by, and I've been nothing more than an open book, inviting you all into my personal world of triumphs and failures. This experience has grounded me on so many levels.

My understanding of myself as a black male who identifies as gay has grown, and my senses have sharpened. I'm just happy that I can now direct others to this blog, who I feel may need to read my stories, just so they know they are not alone. You are never alone.

I'd like to think that I've accomplished a few of the objectives I set before myself 5 years ago in my very first post, "I'm no Hockey Kid Mikey."

Now, at the age of 23, I plan on making a few changes in my life to achieve may lead to me leaving Alabama to find happiness in employment, the arts, as well as that word that's often used to get naive, sex-hungry dudes into bed..."love."
Let's see:

1, I ended up leaving Alabama to move to Georgia. - "The Big Move."

2. I quit my job to pursue a writing career. Bumpy, but I'm here. - "What Do I have Left?"

3. I fell in love. Real, genuine love that resulted in a 3 year relationship. Although it's not where I'd like it be, and we're not together like it could be, I'm happy to have experienced it. - "Random Sentiments." 

Of course, many things have happened in after and between some of those posts. The lessons learned were good enough to make me into the person I am now. I know in my heart that this blog will only get better. I mean, it has gotten better over time. Just look at the new layout! 

I feel more at ease with stepping out of my comfort zone to write about other things that interest and matter to me besides my personal stories. This blog has always had potential to be great, so with it being five years, I think I need to pick up where I left off from the first post.

Now at the age of 28, I plan on improving on my dreams and aspirations to achieve happiness. It may lead to taking more risks in writing and blogging, being bold and adamant about my worth as a writer and social media strategist, becoming more social so that I can be that black gay activist I know I can be, and falling in love with myself first before I can fall in love with anyone else. I also plan to get to the good money, so I can dress nice again, lol!

It took me 5 years to get to this point in my life, so let's see what other awesome things are in store for me and you here at Thank you for being a part of this journey!

Bama Boi Blues, 5 years later


Strange Mirrors: What I'm learning about myself from the eyes of others

Strange Mirrors: What I'm learning about myself from the eyes of others

Lately, I've been in an odd place. I've been in between surviving and sorting out my feelings.

After embarking on this self love challenge, I'm learning things about myself that I don't necessarily like, but felt was needed in order for me to continue living.

I'm the face of suicide, so in order for me to avoid risking a downward descent into possible self harm, I'll block or push away any person or thing I perceive to be a threat. My thinking is that I already have enough emotional triggers that I'm trying to eradicate, so I don't need any new ones coming about to screw up any progress.

But, I'm now in a place where I wonder if I'm progressing at all.

There's a Gnarls Barkley song that describes me right now, and even though I'm not here for Cee-Lo Green and his rapey mindset, the content of this particular song speaks volumes. It's called "Who Cares?"You can check it out below.

I can really identify with this song because it describes my demeanor, especially after quitting my job last year to pursue writing full-time. What really sticks out are the lyrics that begin at the 1 minute mark that goes like this:
You see, everybody is somebody
But nobody wants to be themselves
And if I ever wanted to understand me
I'll have to talk to someone else
'Cause every little bit helps
I've been talking to many people lately, those that know me personally and those that are trying to get to know me. As much as I appreciate the support and encouragement, and realness I get from those who absolutely know how I tick, lately, I've found myself caught up in the opinions and observations of those who don't really know me. These strangers have become my mirrors.

In the most subtle way, or at least they think it's subtle, these strangers try to tell me about myself based on my words and actions, and it seems the general consensus so far is that I don't take chances or give people chances, since I'm supposedly quick to reject every suggestion as to how to be more open to people.

What I find funny is that I consider myself to be an open book...hello, have you read anything from Anything you need to know, you can find it here, honestly. Nonetheless, I do understand that I can be very guarded. I have my reasons for the way I operate, and to strangers outside of my inner circle, it's not really meant for them to understand how I operate.

Some figure they can diagnose or prescribe my condition, and it's fair for them to interpret things how they wish; however, at the end of it all, I have to trust myself in knowing what works for me and what does not. Though, these "mirrors' are allowing me to step outside of myself to see things differently. I'm still not used to seeing what others see.

Basically, I'm complicated. How about you?

(Photo: Tommy Jones, NSFW)

Bama Boi Blues: Site Maintenance Talk

Bama Boi Blues: Site Maintenance Talk

I have a lot of maintenance to do for this site, and since I have no coin to pay a professional to take this headache of a task away, I'm learning how to code, and it's a slow process.

Yes, I know I have categories missing, and certain things may be "off" about the site, but I'm going to do what I can to correct it all.

Nonetheless, I'm proud of the site's evolution, and I know it'll only continue to get better.

In the future, I hope to add a forum for topic discussion. I think it'd be neat and helpful, so if anyone knows of a way to implement a forum, seamlessly through this site, I'd love you forever! 

Oh, and I haven't given up on the Podcast idea. I just don't want to host it alone. I feel I need another voice to add some great discussion to the mix. Again, any suggestions?

Hope everyone's week is going well so far. Please look out for more interesting reads here on Bama Boi Blues. I have a lot more in store for you!
(Image credit)

100 Days Self Love Challenge: Days 9 - 27

100 Days Self Love Challenge: Days 9 - 27

I have to love myself in the current state that I'm in order to embrace future endeavors.

I have to love myself in the current skin I'm in in order to appreciate my body before anyone else can.

I have to love myself for the gifts I currently possess, and in some way, I have to use these gifts in order to survive.

I have to love myself more than what I've been doing so far with this challenge.

I didn't know it would be this hard to love myself in so many ways, yet here I am, stuck.

But I'm learning. I'm understanding. I'm processing.

Many days have passed in this challenge, and I can't say I have much to show for it. I've had many discussions with friends and family about my own self-perception, and it's been enlightening. We tend to see ourselves differently than the outside world. However, because we are ourselves 24hrs a day, it's easier for us to be critical of our actions and appearance.

Training myself to see all the good things others see has been rough, but not too bad. Reconditioning my thought process to see the more positive outlook of things has been my main goal, and I'm doing my best to forgo the notion that money is needed in order for me to fully love myself properly.

I know that's a lie. I'm just yearning income in general.

So far, I do know that I tend to take up residence in my own head quite a bit, which may hinder me from taking chances. At this point, I can't afford to be too afraid, though.

Little by little, I'm becoming a bit more brave.