When I was a bitter bastard, and unsure of men, and suspect to any and everything that didn’t seem right, I had the idea that ALL men were gay, bi, and that wonderful word coined by the genius J. L. King (all this is sarcasm btw), “downlow.”
Due to gay hookup sites like BGC, ThugsForSex (don’t ask me), and A4A, my eyes were wide open. I exposed myself to shit that I really don’t think I was ready for at the time.
There were profile pics of dicks, asses, abs, and locked face pics all for the cyber world to see if the right pick up lines made it to the right inbox. The reason I thought many guys were gay was due to a game I came up with out of sheer awe. I’m sure other guys have done this, and they may have coined their own name for it, but for me, I called it being “DL by Association.” Sad for me to come off as judgmental, but it was my way of confirming if a guy that I suspected was gay, actually was.
I don’t know how it started, but I know it came from a week or two of seeing too many damn men that I knew from the neighborhood, church, school (K-12 up to college), and so forth, assed out in profile pics on those websites I mentioned above. If ever in my past I wanted to know how “so and so” looked butt ass naked, I got my wish without even having to see him in person – a reason dudes should lessen how many pics they place up on the Internet. Have some of you learned nothing from jilted ex gay lovers? Anything?
What really makes some of this shit worse is that those geniuses would often use their profile pic, or one of their “sexy” photo album pics, as a pic on their Facebook profile, or at the time, MySpace. I mean, unless you just didn’t care, other idiots who swore up and down that they only like vagina, screwed themselves up majorly. However, I must admit that I became a gay sleuth. I think that’s why I have a fine tuned gaydar now (I really do believe in gaydar. . .pitiful).
For instance, if a guy were to hit me up on my profile, I’d immediately go to his profile, scan his syntax, or the words he uses to describe himself and whatever other crap he writes, along with his stats, which is misleading if you know that the proportions he puts up are way off. I’d also check out his screen name , which can go a long way in finding out who they are, and then the coup de grâce, his pictures. I’d take all this in, THEN, I’d begin chatting with him.
Once I had enough info, I’d go straight to Facebook and MySpace, and let’s just say, I’ve dodged any’a’bullets from this method. So, there are guys that I definitely know get down with other men, but I couldn’t care less about them. It still irks me, however, when I see that their “interested in” status on Facebook reads women.
**SIDE NOTE – If you are %100 certain that you only like men, at least leave that field blank, but don’t put up that you’re interested in women. I made mine blank years ago. People are not looking that hard, but I could be wrong.**
Anyway, that would not be the end of my quest for truth. Over the years, I’d make friends from those gay sites, sites which I don’t mess with anymore, deeming these guys worthy enough to be cool with on Facebook and MySpace. Seriously, this was a biggy. If I allowed you to be my FB friend at that time I had to really trust you due to my fear of being outted. What I find funny about that now is that I already had openly gay friends on my list years before delving into my own sexual exploration, but I guess since I knew them prior to me going to the gay sites, it was all good (sigh for my thought process).
Either way, when Facebook rolled out with the “mutual friends” ordeal, I became a judgmental asshole and brought back “DL by Association.”
It was like a combination of the guys I knew from the gay websites, plus the few friends I had on Facebook that were also on those gay websites, plus the sleuthing I had done on guys I was talking to – ALSO from gay websites – all piled up under mutual friends.
It also didn’t help when you had a supposedly straight guy take the infamous (yes, infamous) “wife-beater mirror pic,” and you have more dudes commenting and trying to crack jokes, when really, they want to fawn all over the guy more than women . . .I’m jus’ sayin’.
I remember recently seeing a joke on Twitter, and it went along the lines of this: Girl asks her gay guy friend, “How do you know if my man is gay?” The gay friend replies, “Girl, we have the same ‘friends’
That was so poor in taste, but I couldn’t resist. I can’t be serious all the time. LOL
I guess this was a “Musing” post after all.
Anyone else had similar experiences? Please Comment and let me know.